Imagination & Reality

• Person I love: Why are you sad?
• Me: Because I can't understand our relationship. Sometimes I feel like we're friends, sometimes I feel like we're more than friends , but sometimes I feel like i'm just a stranger to you.

To Do’s, not resolutions.

Another year has gone by, and by now, I have realized that NY’s Resolutions don’t really work; yet, I have decided to make a list nevertheless. I have decided on making 20 things that I should be able to do since I will be turning 20 this year. I have decided to make them statements that are in the present tense, since placing these in the future tense seems like it is unattainable or as if it is something that can be delayed. So, here goes!

20. I can drive on my own.

I’ve had my driver’s license for almost a year now, and I only use it when bouncers need a valid ID from me. HAHAHAHA. This year, I should be able to drive on my own so that I wouldn’t keep bugging my friends to bring me home, nor will I bug my parents to pick me up late at night. Independence would be that word that would be able to sum this up. 

19. I am fit, and sexy!

A common thing, I know. If I was able to exercise everyday back then in high school, then I’m sure I can do it again in college. Motivation is here!

18. I am a dean’s lister

I could say that last term was probably the worst term of my college academic life, but being at my lowest allowed me to see that there’s no other way but upwards. That mediocrity isn’t an option anymore. I know that I can do it, and that with enough focus, motivation, and perseverance - I’ll manage.

17. I have a Blackberry

Materialistic desires. Hihi. Also so I can practice delayed gratification yet again by saving up ‘til I get it - unless my parents finally decide to give me one. They STILL don’t have a Christmas gift for me, BTW. Pshh.

16. I have at least P10,000 in my bank account

I am a very impulsive buyer, and wouldn’t think twice about buying items which I don’t really need. Thus, being able to do this would serve as a triumph over impulsive buying. I’ve been improving on the impulsive buying, slowly. Yay! :) Oh, I just wanted to share. Did you know that saving P30 everyday could give you a million by the time you’re 60 years old? Amazing right? I should try doing that too.

15. I can cook

I am turning 20 in two months and I can barely cook! Although I can make good pasta, there are so much more recipes waiting to be explored. Oh, and with that statement, “I can cook” comes the food presentation. Yeah-uh!

14. I do household chores

With our maid leaving us, there are so much things that need to be done here at home and I can’t keep on delaying chores any longer. Besides that, I really need to learn how to use a washing machine. HAHAHAHA.

13. I earn through the stock market

With my level of spending, I should have a way of generating profit and why not through the stock market? It could also be a good way of bonding with my parents since they’re pretty aware of how it works. 

12. I have an excellent company for my OJT

Its OJT term for me, and I am currently on the hunt for awesome companies. I don’t want my OJT to be boring; I want to experience being exposed to the different avenues in HR. I heard Shell and Chevron have good HR departments. Any other suggestions? 

11. CLA is derecho for this 2012 General Elections

Last year’s GE for CLA was probably the worst and when I recall it, it still something that I should be able to recover from. The good thing that came out from it though would be that, I learned a lot of things: proper strategies, marketing, selection - to deeper lessons such as being humbled, asking for help when needed, teamwork, etc. March is fast approaching, and I am confident this year. We will make it happen. 

10. I read a good book at least every other month

It is always good to have something to read that isn’t related to academics. Personally, it is good to reflect after reading a good book and relating it something that is absolutely relevant to what I am currently experiencing. It might give me a new perspective or add some insight to what I already know. At the same time, reading gives me a sense of peace - of traveling to a different world where the words I read come to life in full color, the way I want it. 

9. My thesis group has the best thesis for Psychology

Enough said.

8. I can speak French/Spanish

Speaking a language besides my own native tongue and English would definitely be a strength in the corporate field in the future. At the same time, being to Europe has always made me fascinated by the different languages that I encounter specifically, French and Spanish. When I go back, it would also be easier to get around the area and meet new people. Having a new language expands opportunities, and I wouldn’t want to let go of that chance.

7. I have more time for my high school friends

I have always been told by my high school friends that I have been so distant, a ghost, MIA, etc. Thankfully, I started the year right by hanging out with a bunch of them and I plan to continue that throughout the year. Who knows me better than they do, right? I did miss them as well. I have time, and will make time for them.

6. I have traveled locally at least 4 times this year

I have started my love for traveling at such a young age. It began in Hong Kong, and I have gone to a lot of places outside the country ever since. But I think that I should be exploring more of the local places this year. There’s so much that the Philippines has to offer, that I wouldn’t like to miss out on such amazing sights, events, and culture. Every region is a different story to tell. I can’t wait to capture everything and experience these places firsthand.

5. I can say “no”

It has always been hard for me to say “no” because I feel like I am offending the person. But I have learned that I should stay grounded and firm if I believe that it isn’t in my interest, I shouldn’t be thinking that I will offend the person, but that I am doing myself and that person a favor. So yes to saying no.

4. I am in love and loved

Ohh, the woes of a soon-to-be-20-year-old. I am hot and cold when it comes to love: “I can risk it” to “I don’t think it’s worth it”. What I want this year would be for me to say, “But hey, at least I could say that I loved and gave my all rather than not loving at all right?” I do hope that someone would reciprocate the efforts and the feelings that I will soon be able to give. ‘Cause I have so much love to give! Everyone does. It just takes the right person to receive ‘em and give the same love back. :)

3. I have found my passion

I have done so much things that I never really pursued: ballroom dancing, piano, voice, guitar, Taekwondo, Karate, swimming - at first I am very motivated, but at the middle, I suddenly lose interest and stop altogether. I want to find my passion this year, and I believe that I will be able to find it by discovering myself more which leads me to my next to do.

2. I can express myself more

My usual self consists of being all happy-go-lucky and cheerful and always laughing, but I also do have another side that I barely show people. I think this would be one of the hardest things to do for my to-do list because I do believe that showing feelings, emotions, or other things besides what’s positive is showing my vulnerability. Probably, I can express to the right people? And through this blog perhaps.

1. I am always grateful at the end of each day

Whether the day was positive or negative, there’s always something to be grateful for; I think that it is also good that I started out the year feeling grateful for everything that happened to me the past year and I want to continue having that feeling for the rest of the year. 

So what are the things that you want to do for this year? :)

Dear you,

Never did I expect that we’d become this close; I never expected that late nights of doing academics and random chat pop-ups consisting of “how-are-your-acads” will eventually turn into conversations that demanded more time, that demanded more attention, that made me interested to know you more. It is during those exchange of words did I become interested. It was during those exchange of snippets about each other’s lives that I decided that I wanted to invest in you; because it is not everyday that one is given the chance to find someone that people would say, you just “click” with. It was during those moments that I knew did I sought out to know more; I was given the opportunity to familiarize myself with you, probably more than those who have known you for years.

Never did I expect that we would talk constantly; that constant communication would turn into lengthy hours, that constant communication meant going beyond the wee hours of the night, that constant communication meant going beyond the chat alerts and pop-ups, and ending up in countless text messages; that constant communication meant having stolen encounters & short drives, that constant communication meant open communication. And that being open, meant transparency. And with that transparency came acceptance.

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